He's being incredibly sweet. He says he wants to marry me and take care of me till I'm old.

Then again, I wonder how many girls he's said that to. You wouldn't think it but he was quite the player back then. Okaylah. Not player, really. But more like a serial bonker.

I wonder what it is with men and flings. Why do men always have this insatiable itch to bonk anything with tits? Erm, I meant females with tits. Fat men with tits don't apply.

And don't come all masochistic on me and tell me that it's okay because men are meant to fuck and girls are meant to be fucked. I WILL SLAP YOU SILLY, I SWEAR.

Okaylah. I'm being paranoid and for no reason, really.

But wah, sometimes when I think back of all the girls he's been with... eeeee, geram aku. I feel like yanking his hair or, or, giving him a swift kick in the teeth. Nah, ambik kau. You think that's painful? That's nothing compared to what I feel.

So when he says he loves me and he wants to marry me, does he mean it forever or just right now? How many girls out there are smirking at my naivety and saying "Hah, he said that to me too you silly bitch."?

Oh shit. He just sent me a damn sweet sms. Bleh. I'm feeling damn guilty. He says happy five months and that he loves me now more than ever before.

I'm sorry. I know I'm teetering dangerously into lunatic territory. But hor, I have good reason to because I am hormone soup at the moment.

Okay wait. Stop. I have a lovely boyfriend who will goreng ayam for me in the middle of the night because I have stupid cravings. He also rubs my stomach when I have cramps. He strokes my hair when I cannot sleep (and as you all know, my hair is super tangled, bless his brave little soul for trying anyway). And when I tengah semput, he will massage my back until my heartbeat returns to normal.

Wah, I just re-read this entry. I am very kecoh eh. I think I'm trying to distract myself from the main problem here. I guess we both know we'll be together for a long time after this and the thing is, I'm driving myself crazy with jealousy. Quite silly, really.

I just need to know that I'll be the last girl, that he'll be with me forever like he's promised to be. And for the right reasons.

And please don't misintepret this entry. He hasn't done anything wrong (oh well, not yet anyway). In fact, we're going really well. Which is why I don't even know why I'm writing this. Okay I better stop blabbering on.

I am searching the house for food and as usual there is none. Bestnyer.